Tech Lolz: Weird gadgets you shouldn't buy on Black Friday

Hello, digital citizens. How are you this week? All good? Getting in shape for the shopping marathon coming later this month? I sure am. I am actually well known for my (very bad) habit of wasting money on useless gadgets throughout the whole year not just on the Christmas of retail, Black Friday. Given the fact that I have all I need already, from desktop to laptop, smartphone, graphic tablet, small headphones, big headphones, magnetic charger, and some other devices I cannot mention here as they are private, if you know what I mean, I really do not need ANYTHING else. Someone should actually cut my Internet connection that day. Here's what I might consider buying this year:

Here is a smart belt that makes you hate yourself

Somebody decided they should develop a smart belt, that has some tiny motors inside that let the belt loosen itself when you gain weight. Which is like sending you a message that you should cut on that box of chocolates and move your ass back to exercising. Which is basically what a normal belt does, minus the motors. And it doesn't let itself loose when you move the needle in a new hole. So this is a belt that saves you the effort of loosening your belt while telling you that you should make some effort to lose weight. Mind. Blown.

Here is something completely wrong for your kid

Have you heard of the iPotty? The fact that we use our tablet or smartphone while we are on the toilet dumping a number 2 is not news. Don't go all innocent on me, I know where you sit when you talk to your mums on WhatsApp. But don't train your kids to do the same starting the age of 2 or 3. Do not buy the iPotty. This Black Friday spend your cash on something useful. Anything is more useful than the iPotty.

Here are some skates that are actually shoes that are actually platforms that are actually useless

Rollkers electronic shoes are something special. They kinda look like roller skates, but they are not skates. They are "under shoes". Wow, great copywriting. You could've just as well name them "thing that goes between shoes and ground". The under shoes sort of record your walking pace and then they make you speed up to seven miles per hour. Nobody knows how you slow them down though, yet. Just imagine a shopping mall where everyone wears them. Just that.


Stop spending your cash on things you do not really need. If Black Friday gets here, OK, get a better laptop, or a better smartphone, or a better TV, or maybe a new fridge or vacuum cleaner. But don't waste your money on stuff just because it's shiny and has great marketing. Also, please stop me from buying everything on sale.