Tech Lolz: Valentine's Day gift ideas for your (imaginary) girlfriends

Dear Mother of Wallets, Valentine's Day is coming in about a week and we have to (virtually, in my case) rush into the stores to buy the best gift “evah” for our significant others. For those of you who do not have a girlfriend, it is simple: buy some gloves, treat your hand with a nice hydrating creme, watch a nice movie and don’t overwork it on some LoL marathon that day. As for all the others, I thought I’d be nice and make a list of stuff you could get your better halves for this day. But order fast, because it’s already the fifth and you don’t wanna be left out, because the delivery guy couldn’t care less. Also, we thought this through and we also need to warn you about the possible misinterpretations you might be submitted to, so choose wisely:

Are you calling me fat?!

OK, this is a bold idea, but if you get two fitness bracelets and you convince her you want to add another activity-we-do-together-cause-we-love-each-other, you might actually dodge the bullet where she feels you believe that she is fat. We also recommend you don’t buy the cheapest, because… there is Google. She will find out you invested a coupon and a dollar in this important day of the year and of your relationship.

So, our recommendation is something mid-priced, with a touch of romance (I guess that silvery thingie there will solve that) and helpful for your future like this fitness bracelet.

Source: Amazon

Of course we do not think you should buy something that has blings on for yourself, so maybe you can try a more manly option like this one.

Are you calling me dumb?!?

OK, another complicated gift, but again really useful i n the long term: Kindle Voyage. It’s practical, and if you buy enough soapy novels like 50 Shades of Grey and Sandra Brown’s entire book collection, you will get enough time to deal with your video games, coding, beer with friends and so on. There is a small chance that she will imagine you think she should read more, but you can easily escape that with a simple: I care for your shoulders and your eyes, darling. The books you carry around are so heavy and you always have to keep strong lights on, so you can see properly”.

Source: Amazon

Are you saying my taste in music is bad?!?

This is an investment that will make you look good in her eyes. You will be that dude who did not see the Nicky Minaj - Anaconda video, who knows what a guitar should really sound like, who knows that David Gilmour and Pink Floyd represent the music itself and you sure have a refined ear for classics. Of course, this might backfire. If your girl is a lot into the whole One Direction movement, then she will probably like something like this better , and also she is probably underaged.

Source: Amazon

Do you ever think of anything else but yourself?!?

All right , I might be really on the edge here. But it all depends on your ability to improvise really pretty and peachy arguments on the spot. You can start by telling her how much cool stuff you can do together with this one. You might want to include this Just Dance inside the present, so you can tell her you bought it because you finally want to learn how to dance, so that you don’t embarrass her anymore when you go clubbing together.

Source: Amazon


Well, I really hope I have been of help for you guys. Make the best of this Valentine’s and don’t forget to tell us how it went. Also, if we have experienced Valentine’s survivors here, maybe they can share tips and tricks in the comments below. See you next Friday, guys!