Tech Lolz: Jesus Will Save You, But Won't Save Your Files

It is not uncommon to find trolls on forums and on FAQ sections. Today we found one who really made us laugh and we decided to share his fabulous question with you, and also the answers that followed.. But before we go deeper and dive into the topic itself, Sir, do you have a minute to talk about the last time you did a decent back-up to your files? What would Jesus do?

Let’s Talk About Jesus!

We have not joined any specific movement, we just realized that people often forget to schedule a simple and very important task related to their computers and the safety of their files. This time not just against viruses, but also against mistakes or accidents that causes them to lose important files, wedding pictures and that hidden folder we shall not speak of.

But, let’s go back to today’s hero:

Why didn’t Jesus back up my files? Where are all my files? I thought Jesus saves.

Well, Jesus doesn’t really save your files but he has given brains to the person who invented the CTRL+S or CMD+S combination of keys, that helps you save your files. Even more, he gave brain to other people as well. So much brains that they came up with this revolutionary thing called backup!

12-2 Angry Men

This dude got 10 answers on his disappointed question. Most of them angry or ironic. The angriest is the following:

"If you really believe that garbage the only answer I have for you is this.
The backup went into the cloud. Gods cloud got a virus and it RAINED your data all over the place.
Now start to think for YOURSELF, get a backup strategy in place and stop blaming others for your own incompetence."

I personally believe that the guy who answered is probably working in the IT department of a newsroom or some multinational company full of dim bulbs and he is simply fed up with things like: "I lost my Excel. Can you find it again? Where did my article go? What does format disk mean, I just pressed it accidentally?".

I do however like the idea of the cloud raining your data all over the place. This would place the whole Fappening scandal last year in a whole new perspective and a lot of new memes could be created. So many ways to mock, so little time.

Another answer seems to be written by that girl who never left her parents house except for that one time when they took her to her arranged wedding:

"It's not a wonder people like you do not understand God, Jesus Christ and the Bible."

If anyone has some extra sense of humor left please donate here. In the opposite corner, ladies and gentlemen we have Mr IamTooSarcasticToUseCapitalLetters who says:

"he did there in heaven , now you have to figure out how to get there."

Ouch, we have a bad-ass over here.

Sharing Is Caring

I think that what annoys me the most when I read these answers is that, after these people mock the guy who asks a question, be it as a joke or not, they do not offer a real solution. It is obvious from your answer that you think you are too smart to walk among humans and you seem to be sick of people stupid enough to drink water with a fork. Well, if you are, then help them out and teach them how not to die from breathing.

But worry not! We are here to help you out. What to do when Jesus is busy and doesn’t save your files. First you need to know that all operating systems offer you the possibility of backing up files and folders, so basically you will not need additional software to do so. For example, the latest versions of Windows offer this service through File History which automatically backs up your libraries, your desktop, your Internet Explorer bookmarks, the OneDrive and your Contacts. You can read more about the simple procedures of backing up data in this article.

Also, if you are interested in how you can save, you also will need information on how to restore what you saved later on, when you need those files again. Luckily, Jesus has a solution for that as well. It is explained thoroughly here and we recommend you bookmark this article for when you will need it again if memory is not really your superhero feature.

And speaking of "clouds", you can also use cloud storage solutions for quick and easy backups. If you are on Windows, give OneDrive a try and you will tank the "gods" for it.


Please backup your data if you care about it. Even if your computer has terabytes of space, you never know when there will be a disturbance in the force and your data will go fishing in a different universe. Learn how to perform easy basic steps, and keep your files safe, because Jesus has much more important stuff to do than this.