Tech Lolz: Antiviruses Or, Would You Sleep With Someone You Don't Know, Without A Condom?

Some people from the Internet are like virgins before the prom: completely oblivious. I am not even going to make a huge introduction here, as I usually do to hype the mood. I will simply get straight to this week's point: some dude asked why do we use antivirus software. Let's get started and have a laugh while answering this question.

Introducing… The GUY!

Ok, let me rephrase that: a guy, in 2015, bought a computer, turned it on, connected to the Internet, opened some browser, ended up on Yahoo! Answers! [must have taken him a while], and then and only THEN asked people Why do you use Antivirus Software?.

You know that 9gag meme with "I am not even mad, that's amazing"? That's pretty much how I feel now about this dude/chick. I couldn't tell, it says it is called Dharmendra. Is that a hermaphrodite?

Most probably, by the time he got on the page, he already had at least 63 toolbars, a whole legion of Trojans and really now!! If he got on Yahoo! Answers he definitely got to some porn first. You don't just get online and before you google Sasha Grey, you search for Yahoo! Answers. Nobody does that. Not even noobs.

To Have Or Not To Have A Functional Computer? This Is The Question!

Before getting a tad serious, I must quote one of the answers he received, because it is so beautifully amusing in its simplicity that I just have to:

"To prevent (anti) a virus."

Bro, do you even engrish?

And then there is this guy:

"why do i use it? well, because it goes with my personality, of course...

the fact that it is a protection against viral infections on my computer has nothing to do with it ;) Source(s): 10 years of keeping tongue planted firmly in cheek"

I bet he has a lovely "firewalled" personality. :)

Why Do You Need Antivirus Software?

And I mean Dharmendra, because you are probably the only one who doesn't have it. So that nobody damages your computer, and nobody steals your penis pictures. In just a few words: viruses are programs, malicious software that is written by smart guys with a lot of free time and personality disorders just to simply ruin your day.
One type of virus you may bump into, actually it bumps into you, is a very common one called Trojan which will infect your computer and it lets the hackers in. Or you can be haunted by adware, that is more pop-ups than the kiddie book section at Barnes & Noble with amazing offers and weird texts. No, your computer is not at risk and no, you cannot enlarge your penis.

No matter what operating system you work on, you need antivirus software because it's not safe out there in the world of the World Wide Web. Most viruses are built for Windows since it is the most common operating system, but Apple and Linux are also vulnerable in front of complex and new attacks.

If you want to keep your penis pictures safe, then get a good antivirus. Take a look for example in our Security reviews section, see what best suits your needs as antivirus software and install one ASAP. After you have installed it, run a scan with it so you can make sure your computer is fine. From time to time, maybe you should try some free online antivirus scanners just to make sure everything is ok. It's like having sex with a million women (you'd wish!): you have to wear a condom all the time. And from time to time, go check yourself at the doctor, just to make sure.


Is there even a need for conclusions here? Dear Dharmendra, install a good antivirus and then go preach security in your country. No operating system is good enough to fight the billion viruses build daily on its own, and for as long as the Internet will be here, evil will find a way to access your data and go all Snowden on it, delete it or just steal your info and cash.