Tech Lolz: Android Has Just Updated Your Loo Time
We will take a tiny, tiny break from our usual type of Tech Lolz, because a friend of mine uncovered a gem and now I am simply laughing in tears and of course I have to share it with you guys. But beware, this might radically change your life. Especially that time of your life when you put your phone to its best use: while you're in the bathroom.
The App That Revived Creativity In Humans
Since the smartphone became smart enough, our lives have never been the same again. Everything changed. For example, I am so attached to my phone, that when I left on vacation with a friend of mine, in the morning I heard her alarm song, and I liked the sound of it, and instead of just turning around, waking her the hell up and asking a simple question like Hey, what is that song we hear now, that seems to be coming from your phone? This lovely sound that is waking us up at 7 am on holiday because somebody forgot to deactivate it? I actually grabbed my phone and I shazzamed it. Cause grabbing a phone, switching Shazam on and shush-ing while it searched made more sense probably in my half asleep brain.
Not to mention how, amazingly, our digestive system seems to be somehow connected with our phones because now, where will you be, when the morning coffee effect kicks in? Well, not running towards the bathroom but erratically screaming around the house Where is my phone before you sit down on the throne. Somehow, intestines don't work without wi-fi anymore.
But that is not what this article is about. It is about the absolutely hilarious comments I have read about a built-in app on Android, whose recent update just made people review it like no app has been reviewed before.
According to Google Play Android WebView is a system component powered by Chrome that allows Android apps to display web content. This component is pre-installed on your device and should be kept up to date to be sure that you have the latest security updates and other bug fixes.
Nothing spectacular, right? But apparently the app is misbehaving, otherwise, I couldn't explain myself how this is happening. Watch the following reviews:
Fertility Problems Solved! My wife & I always wanted kids but couldn't conceive. We sought the help of fertility experts, but after spending thousands & several surgeries, still no kid. Then one day, my phone advised that this app needed an update. That night my wife & I made sweet passionate love & to our surprise the next morning she awoke with a huge belly (she was pregnant)! Then at 10:17am, just 15 hours after installing this app & 11.5 hours after the act we were blessed with quintuplets! THANKS Android System WebView!
Life Changing I can't believe I went all of my life without knowing about this app. However, I was impatiently waiting for my new phone to install the 6 billion updates it needed when I was made aware of the existence of WebView. After just ten minutes of reading the reviews, I knew that I was in a better mood and could have a great laugh at those that have been missing out on this glorious forum. Ty based god.
Took me back in time like SRSLY BRAH! At first I used this app in 1912 So was aboard the HMS Titanic man that vessel was magnificent, kinda peachy and had a magical appearance of somewhat arousing then after the last update in 1912 it has frozen my Galactic s5 super rocket so I threw it in the Atlantic ocean and then boom we hit something then we went down, the current version has resurrected me and my S5 thank you manatees of the ocean!!!!!
Spies on you while you poo I downlarded this here app and was talking to tech supoort. "Sir, are you in the bathroom?" How did they know? This app. That's how. It wasn't the grunts or plops.
A truly new Web view After installing I can now see Web pages without even using my phone.... They just appear as I think of them. You HAVE to try this app.
Help. This app lied to me. It said it would help me find a toilet, now I'm half way out to sea in a wooden box with a spoon and cartridge clock (supplies the app suggested). Please sail SW from Lands End for about 3 days, and bring toilet roll!
This is just a tiny bit of the hundreds and hundreds of comments in the same note on Google Play. Poor Android, all it wanted was to actually make people see web content inside apps, instead of opening it in browsers. While it does almost nothing of that, my morning routine today was simply filled with tears from laughter. Never ignoring the review section again. I promise. (By the way, did you read this article in the bathroom using web view?)