Tech Lolz: 5 Completely Useless Apps For Android
Procrastination is an art. I have a special section of apps on my smartphone that help me do just that! Endless mind games, stupid repetitive games, apps with absolutely no real use which look pretty, you name it. Because that's what people do, they love to waste time until deadline is one hour away. I am two useless apps away from never actually sleeping again. Because, aside from wasting your time with innocent grace, they are also addictive. Here's why:
What Do You Mean By "This App Doesn't Do Anything"?
That is exactly what I mean. Some apps are more useless than a pair of shoes on Pluto. And yet, they still get rated, commented on and downloaded. Which means people actually spend time going through them. Heck! Some even like them.
The first Android app I bumped into was a fake object app, obviously used by the most childish person I know. It's a lighter app. Yes, you heard me. Mainly, My Bic® Lighter does exactly what you imagine. Turns on a virtual lighter. Why would you need it? To desperately look at it and at your pack of cigarettes and think of what would Prometheus do? Some say it is designed to be used at concerts, in the rare occasions when there's a mushy ballad coming up and you need to help with the atmosphere. Really?
The second Android app, a prank app again, is just as pointless as the first one. Electric Shaver is … doh! a fake electric shaver. Your screen looks like some fancy razor thing and you can pretend to take down your beard while having dinner with your, probably soon ex girlfriend. I believe these guys have a small issue with figuring out their target audience. Somebody dumb enough to enjoy this is probably in middle school. Boys that age don't have a beard. Or a girlfriend. Really, focus on building an ElectricTimeForHomework app. please.
Lucky number three is simply the epicenter of useless. Mood Scanner is an app that acts like one of those mood rings you'd have as a kid. A ring that changes colour according to your mood (hint: body damn heat, not mood) and that could act as an indicator for other people that you are angry, sad or bored out of your mind. But this Android app is on your smartphone, therefore it actually tells you, what mood you are in.
Wait, what? How is that of any use? Is it possible that you are jumping with joy and you don't realize just how sad you are actually? And can your greasy fingerprint pressed on a smartphone tell you, accurately that you might be on the verge of a breakdown while you relax in a jacuzzi?
Since we mentioned pressing your finger on a screen like some orangutan discovering his belly button, here's another one! The Pointless Game informs the user from its description that it is indeed pointless.
WARNING: This game is pointless. Challenge your friends to see who can be the most pointless. Built in pointless champion board and competition. How pointless do you have to be? Can you hold your finger on your screen? How long? Can you be pointless for a minute, an hour?
All you have to do in this game is press your finger against your screen. Forever. If you find something more useless than that I'll buy you a beer.
And the last one of the season is Coin Flip that now has been updated and not only you can flip a virtual coin, because that's how you should make all decisions in life, now you can pick 28 different ones. In case the end result of the first flipping is that you should never open your mouth again.
Beautiful coins from 28 nations and different beautiful backgrounds to choose.
All in all, truth is I have to stop. I need an app that gives me electric shocks every 20 minutes I waste. Maybe this way I will actually do all the stuff on my to do list every single day. On the other hand, I am at peace with the fact that, at least I only waste my time with them. Someone hired a whole team in some cases to actually build these things. Amazing.