Tech Lolz: Smelly devices, slow robots and a deadly semi-bike

I guess that by this time all of you have heard about Domino’s delivery robot, called DRU, that I cannot help but associate with Despicable Me and Gru, therefore I expected a more yellow and one-eyed device that delivers pizza. I am not sure however if you have heard about the other two gadgets I am about to tell you in this article. But worry not, you will hear all about them, so let’s get down to business:

DRU, turn left. The other left!

So DRU is a robot that delivers pizza. Which is almost fabulous isn’t it? So many people will no longer have jobs, the pr0n industry will have to redefine its “surprise pizza boy delivery” tag and pizza will never arrive cold again. But it will for sure arrive way later than expected, because DRU moves at a reasonable walking pace. “ The four-wheeled robotic unit travels up to speeds of 20km/h and is designed to cruise on footpaths, trails and bike paths. ” Up to, but not at 20 km/h. Which is slower than asking grandma to bake some and have it mailed. It’s pretty for small cities, but imagine the robot having to bring you pizza from the opposite side of the capital you live in. “Mike, wait. Add extra pepperoni, ok? And how long will it be before it gets here?... aha… aha… Any five years. Oh-kay.”

Image source: cnbc.com

What’s that sound? Bacon?

In case you are not a morning person, like me for example, you have already gone through all the possible ways of waking up earlier every day. 37 alarms all in different tunes and weird animal mating noises, having your sister throw water on you, having your grandma call you and tell you all about the last TV show that she is watching, having a device set your bed on fire every day at 7 am, loud death metal and dubstep mashups and so on.

Some scientists came up with another idea. Waking up because of smell. SensorWake is a silent clock, like super quiet stuff, that gives scents. It can make the room smell like coffee, or like croissants or like algae. I am only buying one if it has fart smell and dead racoon smell. I will only use it for pranks anyway. Who would even think that any smell, except for smoke smell when you are choking because of it will ever work to wake someone up?

Image source: thenextweb

Going shopping? Here, take this ellipse

The InMotion V3 Electric Unicycle is something that combines the hoverboard, the bike and a huge need for balance from any person who ever wants to use such a thing. To me it looks like a signed statement of suicide. I can only imagine trying to get out on the street on that. I’d be hipster dead. Which means I’d die before people could see how cool I am on an electric unicycle.

C onclusion

If only we could take the money we spend on stupid stuff and spend them on useful stuff, that’d be great. Why don’t we take the sniffing alarm clock, sell it for pieces and give the cash to some kids in Malawi who are dying of hunger? How’s that for an idea?