Now, I know that we think some things are bad because that is what mom taught us, and some things are good because… well, mom taught us. And then we know what is polite and what is not polite because our grandparents made sure that we never fart at Christmas dinners. And then in college we learned how alcohol can help you pick up chicks or exorcise your stomach and in all this time we also learned about what is to be discussed and what's taboo. In simple words we learned boundaries.
Kid's Apps, Awkward or Fun?
We also realized in time what's disgusting and what's not in our culture. While some Asians eat things that are still alive and sometimes our pet friends, we also do things that other people find icky on a different continent. But so far, I must admit that in no culture I have discovered so far, poo is considered fun.
Then why on earth do we have so many apps that imply playing with it in the Android and Apple Store? I typed in the word poo in the search box on Play Store and I counted up to fifteen games in the first two screens. I stopped counting because I was grossed out, but I am pretty sure there's more out there.
The first one is Pou, the modern day tamagotchi. You have to feed it, you have to wash it (seriously?) and play with it and… whaaaa? Well, at least it is named Pou. And it has 8,137,805 downloads. That is more times than 1 million people used the bathroom today.
Then we have the Flying Poo, and the Dancing Poo, Poo Eater, Farting Poo Story, Do Not Poo on The White Tiles, Super Poo Rain, a Happy Poo Plunger, Poo Flip Up, Happy Poo Fall, Poo Rain… I could go on forever. Why exactly do we have games that teach our kids how to play with poo? How is this even sanitary, educational or fun?
Couldn't they actually make a classic tamagotchi, looking like... I don't know, a damn squirrel, or a cat, or a dog, or a mouse, or any living cute animal, that needs to be fed and washed and cared for. Feeding and bathing poo and giving it names or clothes is a tad unnatural. At least in my books.
Oh yes, and I forgot, also DISGUSTING.
Poo Escape will find you helping a lovely poo to collect gold by guiding him through a fast streaming rivers in two different episodes. Tough an odd place to find a poo, expanding his piggy bank and later spending all those golden rolls on some much deserved upgrades of himself and power-ups. This game won't forgive the user and it will test your reflexes and dexterity while you try to avoid hitting the river-bank or other obstacles on your way.
4 different game modes, 2 episodes, 60 exciting levels, various, dangerous obstacles, smashing visual effects
A lovely poo that collects gold and expands his piggy bank? What is this poo, the Wolf of Wall Street? Poo in the river? Poo with cash in the river? I can't even follow the story here because it's all crap. Literally. What is wrong with you people?
Honestly, if parents want to keep their kids busy on a tablet or smartphone ( though if you remember, we still have those things, how do you call them…? hmm… ah, yes. TOYS!!!) at least build nice games that teach kids about environment, animals, friendship, house duty, school, and so on and so forth. Don't teach them how to play with things that have already been digested.