Tech Lolz: A guide for geeks who are support for their non-tech friends

Did you ever feel that you want to grab a moose by his tail (those damn animals are so big, you’re lucky to reach its tail) and just throw it against specific people? Did you ever stare at somebody so angrily that if you could throw cement with your eyes, he would look like Kim Kardashian’s face with makeup on? Did you ever get so annoyed by a person that you wished you could get married with him or her just so you can divorce them and take away all their possessions? Did anyone ever piss you off so badly that you imagined them being chased down by an army of hungry ants with herpes? It is exactly about those people that I will speak of today. It’s going to be a fun discussion. :)

Seriously, you need ME to reinstall Windows for you?

Yes, I do need you! Because if I didn’t need you, I wouldn’t have asked. Generally, people do not like to admit that they are stupid in front of anyone, be they their friends or not. That is why they will ask for help when they really really really are not good at the task they need to perform. In some people’s (by people, here I mean women) case, installing Windows is more complicated than shaving your armpits with a vacuum cleaner. It is really not necessary for you to make that person feel like she has the intellect of pastry.

Who doesn’t know how to set up a Wi-Fi connection, pff!

Me! I do not know how to setup a wireless network in my home, because I never did that before and YouTube tutorials aren’t really my favorite TV shows. Also, I probably won’t do it again sooner than August, in six years from now, so I do not want to learn how to do that. Why can’t I give you cookies and beer and you do this for me, since you are so good at it. A win-win situation! Just don’t make it look like it’s as easy as making tea, because for most of us, it isn’t.

What do you mean it doesn’t work? It has to work!

Unless it is the 1st of April, I don’t like calling people in the middle of the night to tell them that my monitor just decided to stop working or that I got the blue screen of death. I know it HAS TO work, it just DOESN’T work right now. Instead of denying it, let’s see what happened to it. And when they finally do realize it DOESN’T work, the following line is the one that makes my brain explode into tiny hammers snapping tiny pinky toes….

You must’ve done something wrong

Usually, people with little knowledge of software and especially hardware, do not take action randomly to see what some buttons do or do not do. They calmly follow the instructions you gave them: “ to turn on the computer press this button, insert your password, press Enter, never leave the computer On more than two days in a row, do not click Format on anything, do not click on a Penis Enlargement Ad, do not install anything that I did not allow you to" and so on...

Also true, people with little knowledge of software and especially hardware can make mistakes. And it is obvious to them as it is for you, that they might’ve just trashed their computer and lost all the carefully saved cat videos of the past 4 years. But again, they did not call you so you can tell them they’re stupid, they know that already. They called you because they need your help.

Conclusion

Please be nice to non-tech people, they come in peace and just wanna hang out with the cool geeks, they mean no harm. Stop annoying them by being amazed how not-like-you they are. They are not amazed at how not-like-them you are. Deep down they like you, and they need you. This Valentine’s Day, hug your non-tech friend and give him some TLC.