Tech Lolz: A girl's "short" journey through games and stuff

Hello digital citizens. I am going to dive into a very a dangerous ocean today. The ocean of gamers. And I will talk about my experience with gaming. Which is very brief. Close to none actually. OK, I will be fair: I do not play video games, I watch video games. Usually I meet with my friends, they start playing and I grab a pile of chocolate cookies, sink in an armchair and watch the game like it’s the last of the Avengers. But let’s get down to business...

It doesn’t stand straight!

It’s not that I don’t like playing games, I am just very afraid to start playing one, because I know my dreams and career will simply join hands in disappearance and I will gain the shape of the chair I am sitting in.

For instance, the first game I loved to watch being played was Minecraft. While all the Creepers and skeletons and zombies kinda make me go “meh”, the whole OCD heaven it represents is simply great and amazing. If I touched this game, I would probably build five Interstellar like universes. I would waste all my life making perfectly symmetrical buildings, castles, towns, countries, continents. I’d probably build the desert one grain of sand at a time. Don’t let me go there.

Source: heavy.com

What’s up with this whole “I want a dragon” thing?

My name is Olivia and I never touched World of Warcraft. I did watch it happen though. So nice, creatures walking around and gathering bushes, hunting something that wants to look like animals, and everyone wants a pet dragon by the time they get to level 85.

I don’t get it. Why do we still have games where we learn to hunt, swim, fight with bare hands and slay dragons. How is this of use? Our meat comes from the supermarket. You buy it, you don’t chase it down and win the right to chew on it. Countries fight with drones. I want a game where I practice paying my taxes and where I learn how to get out of college without committing suicide.

Source: www.fanpop.com

All I wanted was some Minesweeper

Seriously, all I wanted back in 2001 was to play Solitaire and Minesweeper during my informatics class. But I couldn’t, cause all the guys were fighting over any available computer to play Counter Strike. There was nothing else available on the planet. You were either a terrorist or a counter-terrorist and, as a girl, you had to dress up as a bomb or a gun to be interesting to your classmates at that point in time.

Source: en.wikipedia.org

I r eally did not enjoy watching that. Prince of Persia was my childhood favorite. I admit. At least it was about saving the princess.

And then I took an arrow to the brain

Thank God for 9GAG, otherwise I really doubt I could hold any conversation with a gamer. The first meme with “and then I took an arrow to the knee” made me curious , then I realized that, to me, Skyrim was World of Warcraft with awesome graphics, which had better chances of being finished by my then boyfriend, before we went on a vacation that year. Other than that, is every character in Skyrim visually impaired? Why are n’t any of them looking in the right direction ever? It’s disturbing.

Conclusion

I am now gonna go back to my mobile puzzle and brain games, as it is obvious I belong in MMORPG gaming as much as lasagna belongs in a volcano. But it’s fun to watch when someone with great skills is playing Diablo, WoW, Assassin’s Creed or anything of the kind. If you feel like having a Creeper sit behind you and just lurk in the shadows of your room, let me know :).