Today is a very sad day. Aside from the very disappointing moment when I woke up and realized that it is anything but Christmas, I had a new notification on my smartphone. A notification I hoped I wouldn't see anytime soon, or ever. But it was there. On the good side, I know I am not alone in this and I know there are others facing the same issue as I do. This keeps me alive and hoping that life can still be beautiful in a way or another. This week's article is not just about me, it's about most of us. It's about how in a time of great technological progress, in a world wide web filled with cat videos, 9GAG, social networks, online magazines, great music and websites you should only access if you are over 18, there is also something else: our parents.
No Dad, don't install another toolbar!
I was thinking which are the lines I use most often to my parents on the phone since I left my hometown and if I ignore the "Yes, mom, I am wearing my fluffy socks", "Yes, I ate this morning", "No, mom, I am not in college anymore, it's a job where I go to daily" there are some more lines I want to record and just replay every time they are needed. "No, don't click Yes on that update", "Open Chrome, it's the colored ball, not the blue E", "No, you did not win anything. We don't have relatives in Namibia."
The worst part is not that they want to enter the world of the Internet and that they want to use the computer and see what's out there. It's actually great and I love them for trying to keep up with the new generation, but sometimes, I want to hide under a rock because they don't really realize that, once you're on a social network and you write stuff there, EVERYBODY can see it. It is not a special place where I post randomly non-addressed things, like I have some sort of unknown disease where I need to hold speeches to imaginary crowds, so that only they can see them.
At first you help them set up Skype and that's OK. You can talk from time to time, they get to see you and tell you you've lost weight (or got fat, but that's my case), they can show you around the house as if you hadn't been living there for 18 years. But it's cute.
Then they are curious about e-mail and you make an e-mail account for them. Then, they spam you with cat photos and "pass this e-mail to ten other people if you want your daughter to get married", then they get viruses and ransom e-mails and you go through a whole drama explaining them what malware is and so on.
They build a Facebook profile and your life is never the same again. They will start posting on your wall asking you "Why aren't you answering your phone?", "It's been four months, when are you coming home?", "Have you seen Lilly's daughter got married?. Her new husband is very ugly." or "I've sent you an e-mail this morning, why won't you answer?". Then they get into quarrels with anyone who makes fun of you, then they start commenting on your friend's walls and friend every guy/girl they bump into, that they find cute and try to fix you up with them.
And the best part is that no matter what they write or where they write… they always, ALWAYS, always, no matter what, sign with "We love you, come home, Mom and Dad".
What's your fun story with your parents on social networks? Please share in the comments section below. We p romise we won't tell. :)
Love your parents. They are the only ones who care for you more than your pet. The notification I told you about in the beginning was "your facebook friend, *MOM* is now on Instagram". It was the last place where I was alone. I will now go and revive my Ello account.